So the last few days here at here at the
Casa de Backus have been rather melancholy.
Ever since we returned back to the house here in Northern Virginia, we
noted that our pet cat, Nutty (formally named "Chestnut" but never
referred to that way) had an apparent increased respiratory rate. Concerned, we took her to the Vet for an
initial look, and, after a couple X-rays showing something ominous in her
lungs, we were back the next day for some more of those, an ultrasound, and a
quick snippet of the mass in that region of her torso. So since Friday we have been awaiting the
results of these final tests and we can only pray for the best, make her
comfortable, and give her some antibiotics with the hope it enables a cure.
But the sense of sadness here is based on a
reality that Nut is 13 years old, and while cats can have long lives, this
may be more than we can facilitate financially, never mind emotionally, or
otherwise. So we are facing the distinct
reality that Nutty may be at the end of her journey.
Now anyone who has had a pet knows that
they can become very attached to you, and more often than not, you to
them. And these animals can often have a
lasting impression on you well into your future, one that is forming as much as
some human relationships, and sometimes more.
Let me start with that I have always considered myself to be a "dog
person", but this cat has had probably as much impact on me as some of my
pet dogs in childhood, part of that is in our joint service together.
That service part is really the beginning
of our joint story as Nutty became a part of our lives. You see back in late 2000, I had made a
rather fateful decision that changed things that made having a pet like Nut possible. After just over 3 years in the
Army, living near and on Fort Leonard Wood, MO, Jackie and I had decided to
move up the highway to Rolla, MO (some 45 min away) as part of a longer plan to
transition from Active Duty to the Reserves and launch into a civilian career
tract. After surprising my superiors
(who equated this with forever "leaving the Army", surprising how
after 17 years and 2 combat deployments I am still very much a part of that
esteemed organization), we settled into a very nice 3 bedroom duplex, that for
the first time in our renting experience allowed for pets beyond fish and gerbils. We had really wanted to get a pet at some
point, but this finally presented us with a real opportunity to do so.
Timing wise, this was also good, as I was
still in the midst of my gallivanting across the continental United States
(mainly to the American Southwest) in conjunction with my Army unit's higher
OPTEMPO (or at least what seemed to be higher OPTEMPO at the time). So one day, someone at Brewer Science, where
Jackie worked, got word we were in the market for a new furry friend at our
residence and, having a newly minted litter of cats in his garage, arranged to
bring one into work for Jackie to bring home.
So entered a cute cuddly kitten in a shoe box, complete with litter,
that arrived that afternoon to the Backus' ranch in Rolla. We were immediately smitten. She was cute, and cuddly, and had beautiful
rose colored chestnut tones to her otherwise primarily grey short haired
coat. Thankfully she was already litter trained and weened so we were able to proceed apace with just simply enjoying
our new found furry friend.
It wasn't long that she got her name, and
it really didn't relate to her fur colors.
Rather, it had to do with here rather insane nature, she would simply do
the craziest things. Whether this was
chew on electric cords (luckily that didn't happen often) and her incessant
need to "floss" using the drape cords, or climb into closets and
places she couldn't get out of, or simply, and literally, chase her own tail
for entertainment. It was also her
pretentious cleanliness and unabashed exposure of her lady parts (in a gesture I
continue to see as a one legged salute) to make sure every part of her was prim
and proper. But it was clear she really
loved us, especially when she wouldn't stop with grooming herself, but would
often give our chins a lick or 20 as we lay in bed for the evening, after she
had gotten all of her fur in just the right spot. It was easy for her to snuggle right up under
my chin, when she was that little and take a "cat nap" in the middle
of the night, and in my haze of awaken-ment almost get crushed by my abrupt
movements. But what was always amazing
to both of us was how much she was a companion for us to greet warmly at the end
of the day and in our comings and goings.
So this brings us back to service, as I ran
off to Pinion Canyon in Colorado and then out to the National Training Center
in California, Nutty was quick to take on duty as Jackie's home-front service
mate and comforter on the lonely nights it was and is to be a soldier's
spouse. But this was supposed to be kind
of a short term deal as I was transitioning in the Spring of 2001 off of active
duty to the rather docile life of Army Reserve Duty and weekend-warriordom. Well I did mention the year was 2001
correct? So come September (that is 9/11
to be exact) our little family was rocked and many things got changed, not the
least of which was her services as comforter-in-chief. And on Valentine's Day 2003, this task went
into high gear as I got "the call" and was mobilized as part of the
initial forces to go into Iraq.
Now I really can't write this chapter too
well on my own, and Jackie will have to fill in the details, but I know from a
distance that Nut had some serious duties to attend to. While I had deployed CONUS for several
training exercises and missions, I had never been "in harms way" or
"off to war" before. And for
anyone who is a soldier with a significant other at home, you know that they
serve just as much as we do, in different but just as compelling ways, while we
sacrifice and do our duty for the country.
And while Jackie knew I was going to be a soldier when we met, she
wasn't ever really thinking it would be for anything more than 4 years, and certainly
she prayed it would never involve my getting shot at. So I can only imagine that during the first
three months of the invasion and occupation, when all Jackie knew was I was
over there somewhere, and hearing about what was happening on the likes of CNN,
it had to be nerve racking and simply frightening. So Nutty had some serious duty to perform,
and I know that she did as well as she could when Jackie was down, or tired, or
simply beat from all of the work and emotional pain that she was in, even once
I was able to get a weekly call home to Jackie from my spot in Baghdad.
And this was a critical year and some, to
do this. As I mentioned it was a big
"first" in all of our lives, and without question Jackie and I
changed as a result. Nutty had gotten
used to two people in the bed, and now there was only one, and one for a long
time. Likewise, Jackie made a major
change and rejoined (actively) the church through the local Catholic Parish,
and I came home to a new fervor that I hadn't known in the same way
before. That, and for the cat, not only
did this mean I was back and she couldn't stretch out in the bed as much, it
meant that a good set of Catholic friends of ours had a litter of cats and this
meant that in 2004 she had to contend with her soon be life partner in Kateri,
an imprudent, not as well kept, long haired tabby colored kitten (who, ohh by
the way liked to climb trees and generally cause Nut challenges). Nutty was there for all of this and we were
only 4 years into this life together!
With the turn of the year, I completed
graduate school and we made our way back east to the Washington DC area. Nutty, not exactly fond of travelling joined
me on my leg of this cross country trip, and after day one where I had given
her a mild sedative (which only resulted in her drunkenly trying to climb
around the cab of my pick-up), she found a warm spot behind my neck for the
rest of the ride. She still doesn't like
traveling much, but has found my lap or that spot a comfort as she does so and
I know its from that trip that we probably best got re-acquainted. Nut, almost as the leader, did a thorough inspection
of our new rental home, and then of the townhouse we bought the next year. She could always be counted on, in her small frame, to check out ever nook
and cranny, and while not the hunter Kateri is, was critical in finding any
lurking creature such as a bird, mouse or otherwise (that would typically run
out and be caught by her partner in crime).
Well, it wasn't too long that I was recalled
to serve in Iraq again, this time as a part of the Surge of 2007-2008. Nutty, along with Kateri (but we know who was
in charge), led the comfort party at home as Jackie, not quite as connected as
she ended up being in Rolla, relied on these two fur-balls for hugs and a good
cry now and again. By now she had become
a feature on our laps (Nut is the quintessential lap cat) and often on our
shoulders/chest. Jackie wisely brought
these two along for our mid-tour leave where she caught me in a photo of Nutty
stretched out, as she often is, in my lap while mutually dozing off. And to this day, her soft, low toned purr is
a perfect sleep aid even in my most insomnia laden moments. Without question she has getting us to relax
and be comfortable down to a science.
So at this point I need to turn to the
point of this effort and pay tribute to her.
Thirteen isn't the luckiest number, I know, but there have been some
hard years in there. Chestnut, to be
formal about it, has gone through three homes, two wars, and been forced into cohabitation
with another feline she didn't ask for.
She was, and will always be, Jackie and my first joint pet. She warmed us in body, heart and soul and
became our leading lady in many ways.
And when you think about it, she was a serious part of who we are,
reflected back at us, often the best part:
polite, a pleaser, neat a prim, warm, curious, inviting (even with claws),
holding a gentle touch, and abounding in cuddly-ness that can't really ever be replaced. Today, as Jackie sang her "Nutty
Song" ("My Nutty has a first name, its n-u-t-t-y, my Nutty has a
second name its n-u-t-t-y, and if I sing this song, maybe she'll come by,
n-u-t, t-y, Nutty!") I'm going to miss her stopping by to lay down on my
chest as I try to take a nap or simply fall asleep at night. I am going to miss finding her catching some rays in her favorite sun spot or watching us come and go from her window sill ledge ("How much is that Nutty in the window, ..."). She is a special server, one that has been
with us through a lot, and I am going to miss her greatly. To you my Nut, I know that you are where you
are supposed to be regardless of when and how this current medical thing
ends. Thank you for being a part of my
life. I love you.
