I originally wrote this piece in May 2024, but did not post or otherwise disclose this writing at the request of the person who was most directly impacted. What is not captured here is that in July 2024 the Board of Trustees assured that the insitution's President reigned for personal reasons and stepped headlong into the chasm that had been created, to the point that one of their own, Mr. David Heacock, became acting President and indeed pulled us back from the brink. For that reason I am now posting this reflection of the circumstances of that time as it ought to be an object lesson that, as I saw in my second tour in Iraq, leadership matters and we can, indeed, turn from rage to stalwart resolve and actions for the better.
20 May 2024
Today something I have dreaded, happened. I had rage, serious rage, return. One could call this post-dramatic stress, and
that might be right, but is something that really has hit me strongly. The reason for being “triggered” is acute,
but the circumstances are absolutely not unique. That said, this is rivaling one of the worst
experiences with leadership that I have had in my entire life.
To begin, then, let’s first give the backstory. For those that know me, know that I am a 20
plus year US Army veteran. Thanks to
serving in combat for two tours, I often wear my Operation Iraqi Freedom hat as
I come and go. But let me tell you, my
two tours in combat, when it came to leadership, couldn’t be more starkly
different. Someday, when I write my
recollections of my service, the working title will be “A Tale of Two
Tours: An Engineer Officer in Combat
during Operation Iraqi Freedom” and I have more or less decided on the opening,
borrowing from Charles Dickens (and the book from which my working title is
drawn), “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”[1] Rather than try to put into text the tale of
my first tour in Iraq, I will share with you a message (sermon) I gave about
it, that was recorded on video because we were in the midst of the COVID-19
pandemic lock-downs during the summer of 2020:
https://youtu.be/5R2f7z8Ejjk?si=uBxMwY8X_i8_9WxV&t=623. Starting at the 6:23 mark and going until
17:33, I recall a vivid memory that I will never be able to fully get out of my
head. I did not “change the names to
protect the innocent”, if you are wondering.[2] And to be succinct, this is the PG version of
events, as I don’t get into the graphic details, and as a part of a sermon on
the issues of passing judgement, well, it made no sense to get into those
details. I will just say that was the
early bottom. And it was just one of
many reasons to have long lasting anger about the tour, especially the
leadership above me, and their utter failures, misjudgments, and incompetence,
in the face of very real needs for strong leadership, people of strong moral
character, and a willingness to have a vision for more than their own benefits
and their own careers or legacies. Rage
is simply the best word that I have about what happened to me and to those that
stood with me in the midst of unspeakable challenges, brutally harsh
conditions, and a nearly impossible mission because of the failures of these
supposed leaders.
It is to this past that I am triggered. To a past that literally nearly killed people
because of the failures of leadership that I witnessed, in my then fairly early
career as a military officer. Lessons
that I learned and cannot unlearn about leadership. Its lessons like how one can ascertain the
leadership capabilities of someone else, one need only look at those that said
someone else surrounds themselves with.
Are they surrounded with those that are going to challenge the leader
and each other such that the leader can distil, from vigorous yet honest debate,
the best path forward? Or are they
wanting a coterie of those that simply are “yes” people and/or sycophants that
stoke the ego of the person in charge, being uncritical and unwilling to stop
failures moral, ethical, legal, or otherwise, either among themselves or by the
supposed leader? Or are they surrounded
by a brutish bunch that are out for self-interest, caught up in pet theories,
doctrinaire to a fault, and unwilling to acknowledge, never mind apologize for,
mistakes made? Or are they wanting to be
seen as the “smartest person in the room” by ensuring those around them can
never challenge them or that they are ignorant of the failures and incompetence
of those around them because they so clearly have no interest in getting the
ground truth? Yes, you can see very
clearly who is a leader and is not, if you ask these questions and more. And the rage I feel is based on many more
lessons I have learned in and out of combat, some of the worst examples came
from this first tour in Iraq.
So, what has me enraged?
Simply put, I am a part of an institution that is at a precipice. While no one is being asked to put their life
on the line for this organization, it is an organization that has, for me (and
many others) deep and abiding roots. It
is an organization that should it fail, will have devastating effects on the
livelihoods of those it employs, devastating effects on the very economic
foundation of the community it resides within, and devastating effects on those
that found their very selves while traversing a very influential part of their
lives on its campus(es). As an
institution, it should not be in the conversation about these lackluster possibilities,
given its focus on engineering, business, the sciences, and other national
needs. It is a haven for those that take
seriously their future and it has, at its bones, the results, amazing results,
which prove it can stand the test of time.
It is here, when as an industry many are in much worst starting
positions, worse inherent fundamentals, and seeing many failures result in
utter shuttering of their enterprises, that this otherwise “ahead of the game”
institution is experiencing some of the worst leadership failures and tolerance
of utter incompetence, negating all of its advantages. As I relayed to a Vice President as little as
8 months ago, the institution had about 2 years of runway, financially, culturally,
and humanly, to get on the right track.
But it’s hard to see how the choices that have been made in interim have
done anything more than to squander even that limited set of benefits.
And today’s exceptionally poor choice took the cake; well
fecal pie in actuality. One of the
saving graces of the institution in question has been its ability to capitalize
on professional graduate education. It
has been able to leverage its position as a well-respected and, in several
areas, foremost institution for engineering, science and business, to attract
and educate those seeking a degree beyond the bachelor’s degree. And while undergraduate enrollment has been
slipping, and this year in free fall, since 2016, the professional graduate
enrollment numbers have been steady, if not climbing, through the same
period. At the helm of this stable,
“going well despite other headwinds,” result has been two good stewards for
this effort, with the most recent being a woman of unassuming but fantastic
abilities (leadership, academic, research, business, and more). Repeating, in other words, basically saving
the bacon of the institution has been a remarkable person, unparalleled in
emotional, never mind raw, intelligence, wise well beyond her years, capable of
doing twice as much with half the resources, and putting her loyalty in the
institution as an alum, and as a member of the institution’s very DNA, above
her own self-interests. Full disclosure,
the person directly involved, whom I just lavished significant praise, is a
personal friend whom I have known since we were undergrads at the same
institution we now serve. That said,
regardless of personal feeling, the facts are incontrovertible. To this person, the President, after having
snubbed her once and putting in a completely unqualified person in a position
above her, was again highly insulted by telling her, and I quote: “As a part of your role as Dean of the
Graduate Studies,[3]
you have done a commendable job in overseeing graduate recruiting.[4] It is in Clarkson’s best interest moving
forward[5] to centralize admissions
under one Vice President.[6] The decision has been made to do that under
the VP of Strategic Enrollment Management.[7]” So, to shorten, you’re doing an amazing job,
let’s give it to a guy[8] who is failing at what he
is supposed to be doing, because I don’t give a crap about actual results.
My response, once reading the memo that was perfunctorily
sent to her, was “Bullshit!” I went on
to say, “So it’s working (well), so I need to fuck it up. Well done [President’s first name].” Long and short this is the kind of
ineptitude, failure of leadership, and doubling down on incompetence that I
loathe, and in other situations has resulted in the near death of those in
combat. There is no good reason to do
this, NONE! This is pure unadulterated
failure to see the forest for the trees.
It’s doubling down on failure.
It’s the sickest, darkest, and most profound mockery of any semblance of
leadership I have seen since those dark days I experienced in Iraq in
2003-2004. But unlike then, I no longer
have the rose tinted glasses, nor, given the situation, the obligation to sit
quietly by within the restrictions of the chain of command. I am many years wiser and many leadership
experiences older, to know what pseudo-leadership is and what true leadership
looks like. This is no Lee Iacocca that
has come to this institution to pull us out of our doldrums, this is another Bernie
Madoff that is playing it for all he and those that go along with him can
get. It’s horrible, and it’s wrong. It needs to end.
And this is even more why I am enraged. I am not fully sure how to cut through the
bullshit. As a part of a group of
loyalists trying to right the ship, we seem to be in an endless cycle of
plugging yet another hole created by the administration, using the deck gun to
shoot another self-inflicted hole through the hull. The ship need not leak this bad, but they are
incapable of doing anything more than doing harm. One would hope that the trustees, who are
supposed to be asking the hard questions, looking out for the long term future
of the institution, supposed to be making sure that it remains there in
perpetuity, and not taking anything for granted, cut through the façade. I/we need to figure that out, I/we really
do. Because, as much as it can be the
hardest thing in the world, doing the harder right over the easier wrong, in
the end, does win the day. That is the
lesson of the second of two combat tours has taught me. Leadership matters, and despite the problems,
true leaders can and will come to the fore.
So as much as I am angry, ready to lash out, it is that discipline that
I have honed for too many years, which will serve us well. The path (gate) may be narrow, but it
exists. It seems now to be a light, yet
dimly seen, in the distance. I just pray
it becomes brighter, clearer, and stronger, soon.
[1]
Charles Dickens, Tale of Two Cities, full quote: “It was the best of times, it was the worst
of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the
epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light,
it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of
despair.”
[2]
And candidly, do not apologize. The
leadership failures were so utter, that I would be glad to stand in any court
to relay the same tale, eternal or otherwise.
[3]
Note: the position is actually the “Dean
of the Graduate School” (cf. University Organization Chart). The President can’t even cite the proper name
of the organization she is in charge of operating, which he is supposedly
overseeing.
[4]
Acknowledgement here that she is achieving success, well beyond what ought to
be expected.
[5]
“best interest moving forward”: to be
succinct there is nearly no evidence that the person making this decision
actually knows what the best interests of the institution in question are. Since his hiring, he has not secured one
major donation nor has he done anything other than create an environment of
distrust and austerity, often self-fulfilling.
[6]
What basis is there for this? None is
given, and there is no evidence that there will be better results
otherwise. Basically, this is just not
true. Other examples of centralization
over the last several years have proven disastrous.
[7]
Who has been responsible for the lowest incoming class enrollment since the
late 1980s or early 1990s.
[8]
And it is a guy, not a gal.
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